"The time is now. Stop hitting the snooze button on your life." — Mel Robbins
Relationship Counseling
Is Your Discomfort Or Distress Stemming From Relational Injury?
Our relationships lay the foundation of our lives. When attachment wounds cause that foundation to crumble, it can make us feel like the ground is getting swept up beneath us. Looking at common mental health concerns like stress, anxiety, and dysregulation, we are likely to find that some aspect of our relationships with others is at the root of our discomfort.
If you’re like many of the people we work with in therapy, then you know what it’s like to be constantly anxious and preoccupied by relational imbalance and conflict. You might put a lot of pressure on yourself to be the one who evens the scales, or maybe you feel so stressed and overwhelmed that you can’t even interact. As a result, you have a low mood and self-image; you’re quick to blame yourself for what’s going on in your relationships.
What’s worse? Your body is feeling it, too. You may struggle with tension headaches, digestive issues, or chronic aches and pains. You might panic when you have to have a difficult conversation or set a boundary to ask for what you need. Instead, you find your inner critic constantly telling you all the ways you should be putting others ahead of yourself.
At Family Perspectives, LLC, we are relationship experts. Through the process of exploring your attachment style and needs in individual therapy, we can help you foster more balanced and fulfilling relationships in your life.
Have any questions? Send me a message!
Many Obstacles Can Get In The Way Of Forming Healthy, Attuned Relationships
In many ways, healthy, balanced relationships seem more difficult to manage than ever.
But how are you supposed to know how to fix a relational dynamic that isn’t working? None of us are born with these skills and for many, there was never a consistent or effective model at home for healthy, inter-dependent relationships.
Instead, we learned how to be co-dependent. In other words, we learned to determine our self-worth in terms of what we do for others. When confronted with conflict, we often revert back to patterns from childhood that made us feel safe, like numbing, people-pleasing, or fear-based behaviors. We return to what’s familiar—even when it feels icky and bad.
Furthermore, while the internet has allowed us to stay connected with our communities, it’s also led to fewer face-to-face interactions and more passive-aggressive behaviors like ghosting. Social media has created a comparison culture that causes us to buy into false notions of “perfection,” while a constant need to be logged has resulted in less presence and authenticity during time spent together. And for many, the pressure to be constantly “plugged in” leads to work stress, burnout, and tension among coworkers.
Our therapists want to help you establish new relationship dynamics and behaviors. As you better understand how your unique attachment style interacts with your ability to cope and express yourself, you can start letting go of the unhelpful patterns keeping you stuck.
Individual Counseling Is A Highly Effective Way To Learn How To Get What You Need Out Of Your Relationships
Our individual therapy services are well-suited for any adult who wants to explore and understand their attachment history and style and how it’s affecting their romantic relationships, working relationships, friendships, and/or family bonds. Treating symptoms of anxiety and low self-worth from a relational perspective, we believe that healing relationships is foundational to healing the self.
That said, we specialize in codependent relationships and how early abuse, trauma, or narcissistic caregivers can prevent healthy attachment. We also work with couples—particularly those suffering from aspects of infidelity betrayal trauma—and can be a great fit for individual counseling to bolster support outside of couples therapy or for clients whose partners don’t want to attend counseling.
Our Approach
Sue Johnson—founder of the highly effective method of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)—says, “Being the ‘best you can be’ is really only possible when you are deeply connected to one another.” Focusing on how attachments are created and lead to codependency/injury, EFT is a powerful tool in relationship counseling that will help us better understand your relational history in the process of nurturing more intimacy and vulnerability.
We also incorporate aspects of mindfulness, behavioral approaches, The Gottman Method, and solution-focused therapy to foster awareness around how your relationships are affecting how you feel and respond to conflict.
Our connections are what make our lives feel full and worth living. In holding up a mirror to our individual beliefs and ideas about the world, our relationships allow us to nurture our identities, challenge ourselves, and make empowered decisions. Through the counseling process, you can feel more capable of navigating all of your relationships with confidence, learning to adjust your expectations of others—and yourself—along the way.
Still Unsure How Individual Therapy Can Improve Your Relationships?
Counseling will just make me feel bad about my relationship with my partner/family member/friend/colleague/self.
It’s normal to feel hesitant when beginning this process—after all, growth and self-discovery often require a little discomfort. But therapy is not about forcing you to work at a certain pace or confront things before you’re ready.
Rather, our therapists use compassion, a nonjudgmental approach, and the therapeutic relationship itself to help you heal and grow in ways that make sense for your life. Even if your relationships are a source of stress, we will work alongside you to identify what you want out of your connections and how to get it.
I am ashamed of/embarrassed about some of my relationship behaviors, and a therapist will just blame me for what’s going wrong in the dynamic.
Before starting therapy, a lot of our clients share this concern. But counseling is not about placing blame or pointing fingers; it’s about coming to a place of understanding so you can feel more confident about yourself and your relationship approach.
Our therapists understand that relationships are complex systems and that there is never one single area of improvement—every person in a relational system contributes to the dynamic in their own unique ways. We want to create a safe, nonjudgmental environment where you can learn to escape unhealthy patterns as you develop the tools and perspectives that will serve you.
Relationship counseling is not worth it—especially if my partner won’t agree to therapy.
We don’t want to waste your time, and it might be helpful to know that most new clients know in a matter of a session or two if our approach is a good fit for them. Whether you want to develop a few quick emotion regulation techniques to ease conflict or you’re looking to do the deeper work of healing attachment trauma, we will collaborate on goals and a schedule that makes sense for you.
Additionally, if you’re finding that your partner is not interested in couples counseling despite you wanting to do some work on the relationship, remember that we can still do a lot of good work in individual therapy. As you explore your attachment style and role in the relationship with a counselor, you are likely to make individual changes that can improve the overall connection you share together.
Heal Your Attachment, Heal Yourself
At Family Perspectives, LLC, we are highly trained in attachment repair and relationship counseling approaches that improve the quality of our clients’ lives through stronger communication, emotional awareness, and boundary-setting. Contact us for more information or to request an appointment with one of our relationship therapists.
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